Saturday, March 26, 2016
Relationships are made up of two people. Two people with very unique characteristics and different minds. Whether these qualities are genetically inherited or through learned behavior, matters not, as they are the characteristics that make us who we are right now.
Today we have many same sex relationships so I am not going to even speak of any gender specifics within these thoughts.
Giving that, a relationship consists of two minds, which in most cases have to work fairly hard at being compatible and finding some sort of happiness balance...the type of partner you are is vital to the success of your relationship.
There are so many different types of partners...which one are you?
Needy...always needing to be with someone and/ or reassured of acceptance.
Desperate...will overlook & endure just about any type of treatment or lack of...which in most cases is abuse... just to have someone.
Independent/self-sufficient...somewhat detached and wanting to live alone yet be in a relationship at the same time.
Controlling/Domineering.....always feels the need to be in charge or right in every situation.
Abusive...sexually, verbally & physically aggressive & demanding... eg. name calling...negative criticism towards a partners weight, intelligence and/or general abilities.
Submissive/subservient...always apologizing...yielding and/or agreeing in order to keep your partner happy.
Compassionate...a genuine feeling sympathy and/or pity for your partner in every situation.
Supportive...being helpful, caring, encouraging, understanding, reassuring, and even sympathetic to a point.
Sacrifices...always puts others desires and needs first.
Denial...ignoring the obvious...excusing and/or avoiding certain issues for whatever reason...fear of accepting what cannot be changed.
There is not one person reading this list that will not identify with one or more of the above types. Be very honest with yourself in your choice as you fool noone by choosing one that you are not or would like to think you are. You might even choose several types as we are all made up of a variety of characteristics.
Once you can determine and accept which type of partner you are, then and only then will you be able to understand the why's of who you are right now in your relationship or if you are even relationship material at this point in your self-understanding. Admitting we have faults or shortcomings is probably one of the hardest self-realizations a human mind can deal with. Once you have acknowledged your shortcomings...then what? Now you have to actually work at changing it to better suit your relationship at hand or any future relationship.
Everyone is quite aware by now that being able to trust and be honest with ones partner are both vital in having a healthy and secure relationship. It is also a fact that any relationship takes honest effort from both sides. This is called balance as I mentioned earlier in this post.
We also tend to feel ashamed or embarrassed when we are confronted with our shortcomings. Don't be...it is the one who ignores or pretends to be perfect or feels that they are expected to be perfect that is in real trouble. Being a true loving and worthy partner does demand a sense of genuine and honest understandingof ones-self. You owe truth not only to yourself... you owe it to your partner as well.
When reading this..please be honest with yourself and please do feel free to share your honesty. Also add to my list of partner types as I am far from perfect myself!